Life's been goin up and down.
But that's how it goes, you fall
and then you get up.
Remember what I wrote about my dream apartment?
Well, I'm close, real close.
I've found something simular, in the old town.
It's a massive antique door, I have stones in my living/bedroom, a teeny tiny bathroom
and a little patio with an orange tree. My views are the sea.
By the end of next week it will be mine, all mine. I'll have my own roof, my own walls.
I heard it's thanksgiving in America. You say what you are thankful for.
So I'm gonna be cheesy and do it, cause I wouldn't be gettin up after my falls without any of you.
First I want to thank my beautiful, sweet Karoline. Who took me in under her roof til I could find my own. Who's been there for me during all these 12 years.
I want to thank my man, my better half and his family that I can call my own. I was lost before I met you.
My mother, my father, my sisters & brothers. My heartbeats up north.
Thank you.
The dreamer
Almost two weeks ago I packed my bags and landed in my sweet friends arms.
I felt a new era coming and I know just the haircut for it. And the apartment.
Oh the apartment that I have dreamt about for years, the ones with corners that aren't filled with fights or broken hearts, only dust.
There would be a big window, and underneath a bench where I can sit and smoke while I drink my coffee in the morning and my wine in the evening. I would have clothes hangin everywhere but the wardrobe. I was thinking of turning my wardrobe into a bar, where I can learn how to make the finest cocktails that would make me the finest bartender.
A bed that would be suitable for two, with many pillows. My man sure does like pillows, I sure as hell cant keep them in bed.
I would love some plants. Grow my own cherry tomatoes, ruccula and strawberries. First I'll have to learn not to kill them. An LP player next to the bed, my postcard collection on my walls. An oven where I could bake, make, create foccacia, baguettes and chocolate cake.
For now it might be too much to ask, since I'm for now a waitress that earns not even a cigarette pack an hour. But I'll get there.
Someday.
I felt a new era coming and I know just the haircut for it. And the apartment.
Oh the apartment that I have dreamt about for years, the ones with corners that aren't filled with fights or broken hearts, only dust.
There would be a big window, and underneath a bench where I can sit and smoke while I drink my coffee in the morning and my wine in the evening. I would have clothes hangin everywhere but the wardrobe. I was thinking of turning my wardrobe into a bar, where I can learn how to make the finest cocktails that would make me the finest bartender.
A bed that would be suitable for two, with many pillows. My man sure does like pillows, I sure as hell cant keep them in bed.
I would love some plants. Grow my own cherry tomatoes, ruccula and strawberries. First I'll have to learn not to kill them. An LP player next to the bed, my postcard collection on my walls. An oven where I could bake, make, create foccacia, baguettes and chocolate cake.
For now it might be too much to ask, since I'm for now a waitress that earns not even a cigarette pack an hour. But I'll get there.
Someday.
A lion's heart
I'd like to dedicate a few phrases to my grandma, who happens to be the best grandma in the world.
When I was little I thought she was a boy, since she had short hair it was obvious for me that she was a boy. She had these really big glasses aswell, the ones that are in fashion now. She has this great laugh, and whenever we became too silent she did something she calls a horsebite, she slaps us on our laps and then try to tickle us. We all feared those horsebites. She witnessed me gettin a knife into my forehead, all she remembers about it now was my mums white shirt turning into red.
I love hearing about when she was a kid. How she and her sisters transformed cones and sticks into animals and dolls. How her mother covered all the windows in black in case enemys would attack which thank goodness, they never did.
A man once saw her outside a café having a glass of wine, smoking. This man told her that she smoked beautifully, that she actually turned the smoke into art.
When she wakes up in the morning the first thing she does is to put on the radio. She loves the radio. Then she makes her coffee and sits there for a few hours. Then she goes back into bed to read. She loves books, but only criminal stuff, the other things bores her, she says. Or if the sun is shining she sits out on the balcony and admires the ocean. At night she has a glass of wine or two, watches the television for a little while and then she goes back into the kitchen, to her radio.
She tells me that she's actually never been in love. She's always said that the love she has and gets from her family, from us, is the best love she's ever experienced.
Her starsign is Leo. And that you can allready tell, cause she's so strong and has the biggest heart.
I just miss her and love her so much.
When I was little I thought she was a boy, since she had short hair it was obvious for me that she was a boy. She had these really big glasses aswell, the ones that are in fashion now. She has this great laugh, and whenever we became too silent she did something she calls a horsebite, she slaps us on our laps and then try to tickle us. We all feared those horsebites. She witnessed me gettin a knife into my forehead, all she remembers about it now was my mums white shirt turning into red.
I love hearing about when she was a kid. How she and her sisters transformed cones and sticks into animals and dolls. How her mother covered all the windows in black in case enemys would attack which thank goodness, they never did.
A man once saw her outside a café having a glass of wine, smoking. This man told her that she smoked beautifully, that she actually turned the smoke into art.
When she wakes up in the morning the first thing she does is to put on the radio. She loves the radio. Then she makes her coffee and sits there for a few hours. Then she goes back into bed to read. She loves books, but only criminal stuff, the other things bores her, she says. Or if the sun is shining she sits out on the balcony and admires the ocean. At night she has a glass of wine or two, watches the television for a little while and then she goes back into the kitchen, to her radio.
She tells me that she's actually never been in love. She's always said that the love she has and gets from her family, from us, is the best love she's ever experienced.
Her starsign is Leo. And that you can allready tell, cause she's so strong and has the biggest heart.
I just miss her and love her so much.
distant, je sais
Haven't really had time for much, recently I've been waking up before the sun to take a shower under the stars before gettin to work. And yes, I'm officially an employee at Ciao ciao amore mio.
Today's been my day off and I've spent it with my beardy man. Went shopping - he for a pair of headset and I bought a bra that suits and feels heavenly.
I've been falling asleep before 12 every night this week, actually before 11. And 10
and that might most likely happen tonight, again.
Goodnight,
ps. Ida, my Ida I miss you so much it feels like my heart it's tearing itself apart pd.
Today's been my day off and I've spent it with my beardy man. Went shopping - he for a pair of headset and I bought a bra that suits and feels heavenly.
I've been falling asleep before 12 every night this week, actually before 11. And 10
and that might most likely happen tonight, again.
Goodnight,
ps. Ida, my Ida I miss you so much it feels like my heart it's tearing itself apart pd.
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