head-over-heels in love

yesterday, D texted me and informed me that he just
arrived to Alicantes airport.
I was waking up from my siesta, thinking that I must be sleeping still,
dreaming.
Had to pinch myself a little bit.

but after work
there he was.
Everything will make sense again, soon enough.
watched the movie below earlier,
it's actually that kind of movie i usually watch with my sister
cause it's one of those cute movies with cute actors.
and i usually don't really fall for these kind of movies, cause they're cheesy
but the title to this one
and the meaning,
it got to me.

lately i've just been waking up,
got up, made some coffee, drank some coffee.
have conversations with my mother,
take a shower, put on some clothes
to say good morning to D
talk, check facebook, paint a little, read a little
to say talk to you later to D,
go to work.
work
go home, have a shower, put on the pj:s
say good night to D
and then try to
fall asleep.

it's like someone's pressed the repeat button too hard
and now i'm just waiting for someone to press the play button.
man kan vara vart som helst.
i en korridor, i en butik, på en gata eller i ett diskotek.
man ser sig omkring
och man tänker
och man hoppas
på att den dära efterlängtade famnen ska titta fram.

hur kan man känna sig så ensam, även fast man är omringad av kroppar
roande själar och vänskapliga blickar.

de förgyller bara inte tomheten så som du gör.

the day before today

remember when I said that fever gets me really sentimental?

it feels like my back is turning in to two
as my heart
who's beats are almost beatin through my chest
which makes my chest hurt
my throat is creating this awful growl that I'm
trying to kill with honey.
the mosquitos... shouldn't they be dead by now?
saturday? why couldn't it be monday tomorrow
so I could sleep my whole day off.
october? why can't it be november,
so I can pack my bags and go back to holland,
go back to my man.
to wake up
and do everything in between,
then fall asleep
next to him.

forever and ever

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